I am #Financially abused

I decided to use WordPress to create a sort of personal journal that i could share with anyone that reads it about the crisis i find myself in at this stage of my life. I need to be able to express what I am feeling and what obstacles I am running into to recover from years of financial abuse. I want to engage with any one who can give me wisdom. I want to share everything I am going thru in order to maybe help someone else. First off I have  no money, no car, nothing in a couple of weeks I will be homeless. I have lived in this house since 1997 raised my sons here and before my husband changed it was ok. But now since he decided to use not paying the mortgage as part of his punishment I will soon be asked to leave due to foreclosure. What makes it even harder I don’t even know where he is. He has vanished. Whenever I contact him by text he’s calling me names and being cruel. So I decide that maybe there is someone out there in the universe with the wisdom  I need to come thru this as VICTORIOUS and no longer a victim. I want to be able to take care of myself . I just feel like after 32 years my husband should not be able to walk away with all the financial assets and leave me with absolutely nothing. I am at least owed some alimony so I can have a start at a new life too.

42 thoughts on “I am #Financially abused”

  1. I am so sorry that this is happening to you!! You are being financially abused! You deserve so much after that many years of marriage. You did not say how long he has been gone but I sure hope that you find a good attorney. I pray that God will orchestrate your path and bring healing and restoration to you as He leads you into your future. I pray for blessings to be poured out upon you.

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    • My husband went to work on January 06,2015 and when I woke up he had removed his clothes and personal items a flat screen tv and dvr. He left with me no money. He left knowing I had nothing to eat in the house since that too was part of his punishments. As for as an attorney since I have no money I can’t hire one. I tried to get an attorney to take my case since my husband has a great income but I could not find one who would. Please more than anything I need Prayers I need other things too but I need prayers because I need a miracle. I feel like it’s the end for me.

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      • Joicelizsabeth… My prayers go out to our Heavenly Father for you. I will ask our entire ministry team to be praying for you. I pray for a Mighty move of God in your favor with the miracle that is needed to overcome your situation. Don’t lose hope. Hold onto God. I pray Psalm 91 over you that God will protect and provide. His Word is Truth. Pray it and declare it over your life. Remind God of His promises as you seek Him in the “secret place” of The Most High. I pray blessings to be poured out upon you… in Jesus Name. Amen.

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      • I just want to tell you how much hearing from you and the encouraging words and prayers from the website has helped to give me peace, It seems to give peace. I can’t explain it exactly what I’m trying to say but its just great I LOVE LOVE it. Thanks again especially for the prayers.

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      • My dear sister, I thank you for your encouraging words but I can take no credit. The words that came to me as I read your comment is “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give peace to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

        God touches our hearts and get His messages to us in many, many ways. He can not be put in a box. He is still the God of miracles. Our entire ministry team is praying for you. The “Peace” that you feel is Him. Trust Him. This is your walk in faith. Remember… Nothing is impossible for God.

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      • Still praying for you. Your local women’s shelter may have counselors or suggestions for you. You also may want to call the “legal aid” department closest to you. There has to be some legal way to get to your share. The IRS will have his tax records. As an abuse victim, I have found that even though I have moved twice, my ex’s SS no. is linked to mine and even on the internet, my addresses have been linked to his name. You can find him and I pray that your money will be returned to you. The only attorney blog that I have found is http://avoicereclaimed.com/. You may be able to find others and ask their advice also. We will continue to pray for you for healing and restoration. Get bold and fight back…legally and spiritually. Read Ephesians 6 and Psalm 91. Many, many blessings to you.

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      • Thank you so very much for caring about me. It means alot. I have not been on wordpress because I have been trying to get my house cleared out for whenever they come to put me out. I have been donating a lot of things to the American Kidney Service and the Salvation Army. It has been really been heart breaking dissolving my family home. But it had become a prison for me anyway. And I know God loves me and cares about me and just like the birds in the air He promised He will take care of me. I am living one day, one step and a whole lot of talking and praying to God everyday. I am not sure whats going to happen to me when I have to leave the house but I will have to figure something out. Thanks for the information and especially thanks for the prayers. Please keep praying for me I need all the prayers I can get on behalf of me life. I also will read the suggested scriptures.

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      • I can’t imagine what you are going through. Please continue to trust God. He promises that His children will never beg for bread. He is our Provider and our Protector. I will continue to pray for you. Many, many blessings to you!

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  3. joicelizabeth, have you tried Legal Aid in your community? Someone there may be able to help you or at least know of resources you can use in your community. I am sorry you are going through this. Hugs and prayers.

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    • Yes I have. I even participated in our local free family divorce law seminar. I was granted a 90 minute consult with a lawyer at a reduced rate. Because my husband controlled all the finances she told me I am going to have a forensic investigation done on his finances. I was trying to get him in court so I could at least stay in the home. But since I cannot get a temporary order in place for him to be ordered to help me until we go to court I know that they will foreclose on the house soon. Since I have no money at all I decided to try to donate the stuff in the house to prevent it from be thrown out on the lawn. (I just feel so ashamed.) But I still feel better because the secret of being abused was worse than anything I am feeling now. I lived in such fear and I was so hungry I could not sleep and sometimes I thought I was going crazy. And all the yelling and screaming and being cursed at was the worse. This is hard but so much better, does that make sense? And so with all that being said let also I have learned that people do care even about me even people I do not know, people like you who take the time to reach out . I appreciate you. Please keep praying for me and thanks I need all those Hugs.

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    • Yeah that’s what I mean. My husband controlled all of the money, hell he controlled the whole house. He maneuvered and manipulated all the money he spent all the money and he left and when he left he left with all the money. He even tried to manipulate me into signing a form relinquishing all my rights as his wife to his pension. Financial abuse is also being did not money to buy food while he ate every day right in my face. That’s a little bit of what I mean but yes that’s financial abuse.❤

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  6. joycelizabeth, I sensed there was something special about you. Thanks for reaching out. I will pray for you every day now. One of my favorite verses “I can do anything in Christ who strengthens me.” Phil. 4:13 Your story makes me feel so sad for you. What a true monster he was. Please give us an update where you are now. God’s blessings and loving arms to protect you.

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  7. I too was financially abused, I know the pain you are going through. joicelizsabeth, I was illegally locked out of my house, I became disabled due to a work-injury and my ex misappropriated over $450,000.00 with the help of our daughter. I am estranged from both of them since I ran away after he changed. They both changed. I found out that he was having an affair with a coworker who was 2 years younger than our daughter. I was left alone, in the woods, where we (my husband and I) were having a cabin built. I had 3 surgeries which left me disabled and I went through rigorous physical therapy that left me drained and exhausted. Little did I know that while I was going through all of this to get better, I was being poisoned by my high school sweetheart and my daughter. I was an hour and half away exhausted and lost only to come home to a sleeping man who took control of my phone and shut it off at 11:00 p.m.!! When I arrived home I was belittled, knocked down the stairs, screamed at, then he called the police on ME!!! He filed a police report and I was asked to leave seeing he had to work in the morning. After he thought the police had left, he screamed out the front door for me to put fluids in my #@&%ing car. The police heard him yelling at me but they did nothing for me and neither did crisis services. Over the next two years, I struggled with amounting debt, being illegally locked out of my house, deaths of my neighbors, identy theft, misfiling of my divorce, my ex is in contempt of court on 16 issues and I am left alone to navigate my way through this mess by myself. I know one thing though, I have the power of God behind/within me! Look up pro she legal help in your state or county. There should be an agency that provides free legal help for disadvantaged people. Good luck and God Bless, you are in my prayers. Jo

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    • I did legal aid said I was not eligible because my abuse was not physical. Because of cuts in funding they can no longer assist every case, and they choose to focus help to those of physical abuse.
      I pray that you too hold on yo your faith and belief in God. He is all I have I don’t know how I’m even still alive but for His tender mercies and grace. Take care and you may message me anytime. I have learned that no one understands me better than one of my sisters who going through what I’m living through.

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      • I just had another thought. If you believe in God and you know that He is helping you to survive, are you attending any church? Or, you should reach out to the local churches because I know they have funds for helping people in your situation. You just might find a new miracle out there!

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  8. It is not the end but the rebirth of Joice Elizabeth. How can I help you? . Together women that have been left in this position we can aid one another. I was homeless 4years ago left my abusive ex with nothing but my dogs and some clothes he took me for all of my assets. I now am no longer homeless and penniless. A human especially a husband should not have this power to control a partner financially . This is abuse a form of slavery.

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  9. Foreclosure on a home takes a very long time up to 4 years don’t rush into the streets. The internet will tell you the time you have each notice is served legally.

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    • Carol thank you for reaching out. I am still in my home at the present time. I started to leave and then I was told if I do he could come back and live in it . Not out of spite am I here but because I’d rather be in here than own the streets. Its hard to get things done with no money at all, and no transportation. There are no programs I’ve found that will assist me because my abuse wasn’t physical. I’m glad you have recovered and thank you for reaching out.

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  10. if you haven’t already, contact your local domestic violence crisis center for legal support and an advocate. You may be able to find an attorney who does pro bono for victims of abuse. Be happy you are free of this person but I pray you find the strength to get through this and eventually rebuild your life without him.

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    • I spoke with 23 attorneys not one was willing to take me. I even asked if he could be sued to pay for my attorney because he makes good money. Not one would or could help. I am repeatedly told that because no physical violence was involved I don’t meet the criterias for assistance. I have reached out to everybody, with no luck. I don’t know how but I will survive. I survived inside a marriage full of cruel abuse, I will survive this. The greatest gift has been to be free. In no way has it been easy but it has been so much better. I’m blessed and most of all I’m grateful. Thank you for reaching out to me I’m very appreciative for your concerns. God bless.❤🙏

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  11. Have you tried the National Domestic Violence Hotline? If you need help, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE to talk to an advocate 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They might give you suggestions of who to go to in your local area. There just HAS to be someone to help. You say there was no physical violence but your “marriage was full of cruel abuse”. Perhaps you need to start wording your case differently. Think out of the box. Just another thought for you Joyce Elizabeth. You are in my prayers and may God find a miracle for you!

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  12. i was both a victim of financial abuse and physical abuse. The Crown Prosecution Service in the UK did nothing to help. i met this man, Jason- 6 years ago – In 18 months he caused massive devastation. I stupidly bought a house with him as an investment – We were supposed to invest the same amount – £ 50 000 – On discovering in 2008 that he was also seeing 3 other women – he attacked me – attempted to strangle me in front of my children – raped me- attacked me while I was in bed one sunday morning, knocking me unconscious and leaving me with head & arm injuries. He attacked my children – the Police & CID got involved and he was prevented from coming to the house. He left the UK to go to Zurich – He walked away from all responsibility – I could not continue to rent the house as the mortgage lenders needed joint signatures- He would not make contact with anyone- He left me and my children with a debt of £90 000 when the house was repossessed, as then the Mortgage lenders come for the easiest target and they could not find Jason- no joint signature worries then. My credit rating was trashed I was emotionally and physically trashed had it not been for my children i would not be here today. The CPS in the UK did nothing and did not take him to court as #itwasnotinthepublicsinterest, a benchmark that means 80% of Domestic abuse cases are binned by the CPS in the UK – Leaving those men to walk free and continue to rape and abuse their partners.
    You are not alone and justice is very different to the truth. Your Ex Husband will be liable for the joint debt and I would speak to the local authority and get some rented accommodation. My advice to anyone out there is think of a table, make sure you have control of all the 4 legs, so if someone walks away you do Not fall over.
    It has taken me 6 years to be able to speak about what happened –
    It felt like the CPS in the UK did not believe me despite all the evidence the police and CID gathered – I was left like most rape victims un supported. The best therapy is too realise there are others out there and to talk. Nothing another Adult does is Your fault- It is ALL their own Choice- Every Adult does know what is right & wrong and We all have a choice and those men that commit rape and domestic abuse blame the victim – But it is ALL their own choice and their actions alone to blame. Domestic Abuse and the Whole way the CPS and justice system across the world needs to be up dated.

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  13. You are an amazing person! Simply getting the courage to write about your experiences is a strong thing for anyone to do. You’ve already come a long way. Having an outlet is extremely therapeutic and kudos to you for finding a way to do it. And, as always, I’ll be praying for you and your situation.

    Much love, sister. #soulsisters ❤

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  14. You are entitled to alimony. 1/2 of the appraised value of the house. It’s not your fault he decided not to pay. Start by calling your local bar association to see if they can get you in touch with an attorney who can help answer get paid based on your winning

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    • In case you did not read in my blog my husband went ghost, I do not know where he is. I also contacted 23 attorneys with no luck. Believe me I have contacted in and everybody. I thought I could get someone to represent me and collect the fees from him since he has a 6 figure income., no luck with that either. I had one attorney tell me that attorney’s have families to support, they can’t work for free.

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  15. I can relate as to what you are going through and I am so sorry to hear this. After living a life of every type of abuse and now confined to bed, I can promise you that God has better things in store for you. It is His joy and His strength that sustain us. We don’t have to ask for it, He just Is. I am praying for peace, comfort, and God’s provisions for you.

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  17. Joyce, oh my god… I am so sorry that you are going through this. My heart goes out to you. You are a very brave soul for putting this all out here and that my friend is strength that some never even get or have until much later! You have obviously tried all avenues to no avail. I am wondering where else you could turn…This is mind boggling. What a cruel man. WOW! I just cannot grasp it. However, you are strong and you will get through this because of that alone. You have a support system I hope? I really don’t know what to say except I can be here for you if you need me 🙂 I am praying for you! xoxo

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    • Thank you for your kind words. I know God let me survive this so that He can use me for His will and His purpose. I do have a support system but I actually find more support with other survivors and strangers than I have with my family, they seem to think that my husband is gone I should just get over it. They go on living there perfect lives in there perfect worlds while I struggle. But I’m actually okay and thanks for offering your support every women always needs other women friends. When I was married I had none, that was a mistake,..as the abuse grew I kept it to myself and gradually cut off communication with everybody because of shame. Big mistake I was then left alone in the world with just my abuser keeping the abuse a secret..Not anymore I’m using my voice to share my story and bring awareness about domestic violence from a victim walking the road to victory bringing her baggage alone to open it up and expose it for all the world to see and learn from my journey.
      God bless!❤❤

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  18. I understand in every way what you are going through…He stole every single thing I owned and all my money…
    He has been in prison since 8-8-16…I am at a girl friends home now after living at a Safe House until it was safe…So I have only been by a computer for a few weeks…Please Stay In Touch…Us Survivor’s Need Each Other…I am here anytime you need an understanding friend….
    1000’s of Blessings Really Fast To You

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