I wanted to share this story because this just really touched my heart.
I never talk about my youngest son because the wound and the grief from his death were so deep I couldn’t even bring his name up without tears. But today I believe that I’ve made progress. In August of 2007 my son was killed. He was at college & in just 5 months he would have graduated with a dual degree. But on August 17, my husband answered the phone & it was a detective with the news my son was found in his home with one gun shot to the head by an ex girlfriend. I was devastated he was my youngest son, my baby. I later found out from his friends that my son had dated this young lady who was extremely jealous and violent. I was told he broke up with her, and with each of her failed attempts to get him back her anger turned into violent acts.. After 4 days of no response from my son to any of his group of friends one went to check on him and found him dead. My son never told me anything about the trouble he was having with her. I think he may not have known the danger he was in. I stopped beating my self up about why, & how could I have helped, could I have said something to him that would have saved his life? I no longer beat myself up about it. I gave it all to God.*I really can’t express how I found peace,.. I just did with a whole lot of tears, prayers and crying out to God.* I just wanted to share this because I feel that teenagers should be educated about dating violence in high school just like they teach sex education. I wanted to make sure both my sons got a college education so that their future would have promise. I never thought to talk to them about violence in dating relationships. I taught them to love God, to say mam & sir, how to treat girls, how to stay safe when driving and pulled over, and respect their elders;…but I didn’t teach them about dating violence. I feel strongly that it may have saved his life, because he was a great kid , obedient and always would listen to me,….if I had added dating violence to the tools I gave him maybe he would be alive..
Early in my own journey from domestic violence someone said “Knowledge is power” let’s give our teens the knowledge and the power to stop domestic violence.
Thank you for reading my blog and God bless you. Joyce❤
I’m so sorry for your lose.. I don’t know what I would do if I lost my son to such violence. Thanks for sharing your story and info!
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I read all your post I could find..enjoyed them all. Thanks for sharing some of the most precious stories of you and Justin’s life.
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Thank you. I just started reading yours. Thank you for following and reading, it’s greatly appreciated. 😊
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I like that you keep them short and not long. My attention span seems to be broken…lol I didn’t notice it while I was living with the abuse. But now I notice it more.
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Thank you! My attention isn’t look either which is why I keep it short and straight to the point
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I’m glad I connected with you!!!
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Thank you, so much I do appreciate it. I honestly wish he had not gone away to college.
Sorry it took me so long to respond to your comment. I’m using a phone to do everything now instead of my desk top and it’s completely different.
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It’s okay. I’m sure you do. It’s not easily losing a child especially so soon and at the hands of someone. I pray for continued peace for you.
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I am so sorry for your tragic loss. Thank you so much for sharing your and his story, I couldn’t agree more that a giant spotlight needs to be cast on the issue of dating/domestic/relationship abuse.
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Thank you..🙏
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I am sorry for your tragedy. There is no greater pain than losing a child. It’s a grief that comes in waves and never ends. God bless you for your bravery in bringing this to light.
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Thank you Nancy J, I can do all things because God strengthens me. No the grief never ends but thank God I’m no longer consumed daily with grief & pain but enjoying the beautiful memories he created in my heart soul and mind. God bless!❤
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God truly is our strength. I am happy to hear your memories of your precious son give you joy.
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Likewise! I meant to say long
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Sorry for your loss. It’s an act of courage and love you sharing this to educate others. Thank you ❤️
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I’m sorry for your loss. You are brave beyond words. God’s blessings
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Thsnk you.🙏
I want to apologize for the late response . Losing my son was the worse thing that happened to me.
For along period of time I couldn’t grieve his loss because my husband didn’t want me to even bring up his name. My husband used our sons death to make my life hell. That’s a whole nother
story I may share later.
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Oh Joyce, I am so sorry for tragic loss of your son. So much tragedy in your life! I can’t even imagine the loss of a child. My heart goes out to you. Please email me if you ever want to talk. I pray for God’s healing and restoration in your life. We never understand why we go through the things that we do but we have to remember that God always has a plan and will use all that we go through… even death… as part of our testimony. God bless you, my sister!!
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Thank you for your kind words. It’s only been recently that I was even able to truly grieve my sons death because of the chaos and abuse I was living in. At a later time I’ll share how even the loss of our son was used to abuse me by my husband. I couldn’t grieve my son openly,,its only been since he left that I could openly and freely cry about his death. I also appreciate you being there and I sincerely know that when I & if I need you, you are there for me. I appreciate that, I find comfort in just knowing that.
God Bless you as well and your family.🙏
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Pingback: Domestic Violence Awareness & Teens | The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel
Reblogged this on The Militant Negro™.
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Thank you for the re-blog.
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Reblogged this on Madison Elizabeth Baylis.
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Thank you for the re-blog.
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A heartbreaking story, and a vital lesson for our youth. Parents must be sure to speak w/ their children about this.
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I agree Anna, it never crossed my mind to do so. I want to educate & remind others so no other parent will have to suffer the lost of a child.
Sunday blessings.🙏
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Sister I am so sorry to read this…that you lost your son in such a tragic way. I hope God would use this post to be found by many who are googling on dating violence before its too late.
A heavy post. I pray God would continue to comfort you.
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Thank you, God has truly comforted me and through his love for me & my faith in his love I can share my story in hopes someone else’s life might be saved.
God bless.❤
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Sorry to hear you’ve suffered such tragic loss of your son and marriage 😦 Keep leaning on the Lord for strength! And that’s a very valid point about schools teaching domestic awareness alongside sex education! Thanks for this pertinent info, which I’ve shared on Pinterest 🙂 💜 Jackie@KWH
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Thank you, for the encouragement & reaching out to me period. It reinforces for me that I matter& people care. I appreciate you visiting my blog and sharing my sons story. I pray we can save some lives. God Bless!🙏
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So sorry bou the loss of your son, God give you more strength to be emotionally balanced.
Wonderful piece. Truly, dating violence is less preached due to many persons paying less attention to what the young ones do or get into.
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Thank you, Mr.Obeezy for the support. God is truly the source of my strength spiritually, emotionally and physically.
I thought I was paying attention but unfortunately I missed one important one. I hope my loss and story will save many.❤❤
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I am so very sorry for your loss, you have endured so much. I know the Lord is there to guide and comfort us, but my heart aches for you dear sister. I am lifting you up in prayer and am proud of your work to stop abuse. Thank you for sharing with us about your wonderful son!
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Thank you for your kind words & support, most of all thank you for lifting me up in prayer. Through everything I endured God has comforted me and is healing me, Now I want to use my voice & share my story. God Bless ❤❤
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I feel for your loss joicelizsabeth. I have 7 Children in Heaven but I never held them as you did or did I share in their lives. As an Atheist I had no Hope and my despair was great but now as a Christian, I’m greatly comforted, we will be reunited for Eternity, they are not lost forever to me and they have only known Joy.
Your Son has no memory of the evil done to him and he too is living in Joy and in God’s arms of Love as you too will be one day.
God Bless you greatly with comfort and Love – Anne.
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Anne, I want to say that I’m happy that you now know the love of God and have become a Christian. Thank you for all the love and comfort expressed through your words. I too find great comfort in knowing I’ll be reunited for eternity with my son. God Bless!❤❤
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Joyce, I’m sorry for the loss of your son. It was a senseless way to die. Thank you for telling others of his death to raise awareness of the problem of dating violence. It’s not something I’ve explained to my sons either. I will have to change that soon. I’m so thankful you have a relationship with God.
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Thank you Joanna Lynn for your compassion. I’m thankful that I have a relationship with God too. It was through my relationship with God that I finally found true peace,..I still miss my son so much though, but I know that I will see him again in eternity. Please talk with your son about dating, relationships & violence. I never knew how important it was to do so.
God bless you & your family.
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I’ve talked to them many times about dating and relationships but not about violence. I will definitely rectify that soon.
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I know neither did I, I talked to him about dating but I never thought about him being involved in a relationship with someone that could even become violent and he lose his life.
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You can’t blame yourself, though. This was completely the girl’s doing. I hope she was caught and justice was served.
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I don’t blame myself anymore but it was a long process for me to heal and stop the I wish, I should’ve, & all the why’s. At a latter time I hope to share how my husband used the loss of our son to torture me mentally & emotionally. The young lady was caught and justice was served. In the end we are two families that lost a child and whose lives will never be the same. Thanks for the compassion and for sharing your insight it helps me to further my growth and my healing.
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I am so sorry your husband did that to you. At a time you should have been lifting each other up, he was tearing you down.
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I am not sure if I commented on this or not, but I completely agree that dating violence should be incorporated to both sexes in school curriculums.
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I was moved by this post and I cannot even know how sad and tragic it must have been. We truly need to raise our voices.
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My heart goes out to you. Such an important message to share. Blessings to you.
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Thank you, its a life or death message.❤❤
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Cool post! Many thanks for stopping by and following my Travel and Photography blog https://imageearthtravel.com/ 🙂
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Likewise thanks for stopping by and reading my blog, domestic violence is an important issue.❤❤
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Yes it most certainly is especially also in Australia where our politicians are far more interested in throwing (our) money at terrorism rather than helping the thousands of people affected each year by domestic violence – it’s a tragedy.
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Sad, but a topic that is rarely spoken about, yet it is real and needs to be addressed more often.
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Unbelievable and extremely sad. Such a tragedy. Thank you for sharing your story. I totally agree that we need to teach our children about dating violence.
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
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This is unbelievable. Oh my god Joyce. You are a very tough woman. I cannot imagine what you went through losing a child. I am so incredibly sorry Joyce. I hope and pray for you even more. My heart is aching. That is so sad. Hugs my friend. xoxo
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Thanks, all prayers are welcomed. God has truly comforted me and carried me through such a devastating event and the lost of my baby boy “he will forever be my baby”. I’m healed enough that for the very first time I shared his story with all of you through my blog. And as one reader reminded me I’ll be reunited with him in eternity. I still miss him though so much but I’ll be down here working until I get to see him again.
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I am so terribly sorry and admire you greatly for having the courage to post this. I am certain he is proud of you too up there in heaven, and wants you to post this message and get such important words out into the world. Love flying to you and to him~
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Cindy, thank you for such a beautiful message. I hope that it may start the conversation with parents & teens everywhere.
God bless.❤❤
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Thank you for sharing…I am so sorry for your pain…You are helping so many people…I am lucky to be one of them
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Thanks ❤❤
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My heart goes out to you…..you are such a strong person and thanks so much for sharing this.
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