Domestic Violence Day 12: Financial or Economic Abuse

Many people aren’t even aware that financial abuse is domestic violence, I didn’t. Financial abuse is all about control. When most people here the horrific phrase domestic violence they think only of the physical abuse or threats of physical abuse inflicted upon another, however, financial or economic abuse exist in approximately 98% of all domestic violence situations.

The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel


For October’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I am continuing a series on the various abuses. Now, I will proceed with the next abuse:  “Financial Abuse” or “Economic Abuse.”

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Manipulation of the Legal System as an Instrument of Abuse

Financial Abuse prevents survivors for getting justice and is a form of domestic violence..

Anne Caroline Drake

Eagle by Carole May Eagle by Carole May

If you want to make a real difference, become a legal eagle watching over the court system.

We all know that “justice” in the legal system belongs to the affluent and powerful.  But, I think many of you would be shocked to discover how easily the court system can be manipulated as an instrument of abuse.

A rich and powerful man with a well-established professional career can afford to out-litigate a wife who sacrificed her own professional ambitions to care for his home and his children.  A man who never had a second of time for his kids can suddenly discover how easily and effectively a well-funded custody dispute can destroy his estranged wife.  There’s also the refusal to pay child or spousal support.  False allegations of abuse and arrests on false charges can destroy a person’s reputation.  These are just a few of the ways sophisticated, affluent…

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Falling down

I have been quiet for a while. This is why. This is a necessarily long post and I make no apologies for that. It also discusses suicide and self harm. I don’t apologise for that either. These…

Source: Falling down

I generally only blog in October in observance of Domestic Violence month but tonight I would like to share Dissident Girl’s post, its her latest post & a very powerful. She needs some support from our community immediately. Let’s comfort her & show her she’s not alone.

Comfort One Another

Domestic Violence Awareness
Comfort from Others
What has helped me to move forward and not lose hope has been comfort from others. I call it Favor from God. Encouragement through a blog, or a kind word in the comments area. Someone you never met in person sends you money to help you buy a small heater. Which I use to warm the one room in the house I spend all my time in. A book comes in the mail to help you understand how to heal your unseen wounds “The Walking Wounded”.
A therapist sees your tweet about the tremendous fear you have from the sound of a door and reaches out and give you the solution to combat that fear.
I’ve met so many women who have simply given up on God. I haven’t given up God because I knows He loves me. I also haven’t given up because of the comfort from others.

Starting Over After a Midlife Divorce

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” The author of the book, St. Paul, tells us that we are to be a comfort to others as we ourselves have received comfort from God.

We were not made to walk through this life alone. There is strength in community – whether that community is online, in person, across state and international boundaries or in your own neighborhood. I have a good friend whom I have known for 13 years. She has been with me through thick and thin, tears of sorrow and tears of joy, anger and happiness. We had dinner last evening. I love this friend…

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Domestic Violence Awareness
A Survivor Surviving

Empower your SELF and live

drink-me-alice   Tiny minds, big egos.  Little self-esteem, a lot of expectations of others.  Small thinking, huge communication problems.

It’s a small world but theirs is a big world when you are the one that has to revolve around it.  Because after all, isn’t that what we do?  Revolve around them?  Their wants, their needs, their happiness until one day we decide we need to expand our horizons from their tiny cubicle of a life to our vast, wonderful life waiting for us!

For us as targets, it’s changing our outcome.  We don’t need their approval or their acceptance to enjoy our life.

I was ready to let my light shine again!  And he tried to snuff it out every chance he got.

Once he left:

  • He didn’t pay the bills in my name even though I was a stay at home mom
  • He took away one-half of the rental income…

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Domestic Violence Awareness: Financial Violence        


Financial Violence: 4 Signs to Watch for in a New Relationship



By        –

Most people think of domestic or intimate partner violence in physical terms, however there are other recognizable forms of abuse that can be predictors of the potential for physical violence in a relationship. These forms of abuse include verbal, emotional, and financial violence.

Recognizing these predictive patterns of behavior early while still getting to know someone is critical in avoiding abusive relationships. As a personal finance journalist, educator, and the co-creator of Grown Zone Relationship Education, I am passionate about teaching people what they need to know to protect themselves, in their pursuit of healthy intimate relationships.

Because a person’s relationship with money is often a reflection of a person’s sense of self-esteem, power, and control, signs of a financial abuser can actually be spotted relatively early on in relationships, long before physical abuse even becomes apparent. Unfortunately, because of our reluctance to address financial habits and behaviors in relationships, typically acts of financial violence are overlooked or dismissed.

Protecting your finances—as well as your emotional health and physical safety—means vigilantly watching for signs of financially abusive behaviors in a relationship.

Examples of such abuse include the following:

  1. Your partner attempts to read your mail, go through your purse, or otherwise gain access to your money and/or personal financial information without your knowledge or consent, or over your objections. In the beginning, they may insist that they are “just playing” or that they are doing it to get a rise out of you. Don’t be fooled—they are not playing.
  2. They engage in behaviors that undermine your ability to get a job, start a business, or that put the job or business you have at risk. It could begin with always calling when they know you have an important meeting, or showing up at your job or at a business lunch unannounced.
  3. They exhibit “Jekyll and Hyde” personas, demonstrating financial generosity in front of other people, but vindictiveness when the two of you are alone. For example, on a double date at an expensive restaurant, he or she may insist that you may order whatever you want on the menu. Then later, while driving you home, they may angrily accuse you of taking advantage of their generosity and insist that you owe them. This usually means you are expected to acquiesce to anything they demands of you, including sex.
  4. They constantly press you to grant financial favors, such as extending loans and paying their bills, and they react angrily or maliciously when you don’t. Punishment for your failure to grant requests could range from withering verbal attacks to destruction of your property.

If you see any of these signs of financial violence, do not ignore them. Minimizing or dismissing them could not only put your financial health at risk, it could also literally put your life in danger. According to theNational Network to End Domestic Violence, financial violence is experienced in 98% of abusive relationships.

Recognizing the signs of a financial abuser early in a relationship should prompt you to end it immediately, to minimize damage to your finances and avoid becoming a target of other forms of abuse. When it comes to domestic violence, as with most threats to your health and safety, prevention is far better than the cure of rescue and recovery after damage is done.

The key to avoiding abuse is setting and strictly enforcing standards for your treatment in relationships. Adopt a zero-tolerance policy against any form of abuse, including financial violence. As we say in the Grown Zone, the rules of love and money are the same as for boxing: protect yourself at all times.

All credits belong to                            Black Enterprise Executive Editor-at-Large Alfred Edmond Jr. is an award-winning business and financial journalist, media executive, entrepreneurship expert, personal growth/relationships coach, and co-founder of Grown Zone, a relationship education initiative focused on personal growth and healthy decision-making. Follow him on Twitter at @AlfredEdmondJr.