I wanted to share this story because this just really touched my heart.
I never talk about my youngest son because the wound and the grief from his death were so deep I couldn’t even bring his name up without tears. But today I believe that I’ve made progress. In August of 2007 my son was killed. He was at college & in just 5 months he would have graduated with a dual degree. But on August 17, my husband answered the phone & it was a detective with the news my son was found in his home with one gun shot to the head by an ex girlfriend. I was devastated he was my youngest son, my baby. I later found out from his friends that my son had dated this young lady who was extremely jealous and violent. I was told he broke up with her, and with each of her failed attempts to get him back her anger turned into violent acts.. After 4 days of no response from my son to any of his group of friends one went to check on him and found him dead. My son never told me anything about the trouble he was having with her. I think he may not have known the danger he was in. I stopped beating my self up about why, & how could I have helped, could I have said something to him that would have saved his life? I no longer beat myself up about it. I gave it all to God.*I really can’t express how I found peace,.. I just did with a whole lot of tears, prayers and crying out to God.* I just wanted to share this because I feel that teenagers should be educated about dating violence in high school just like they teach sex education. I wanted to make sure both my sons got a college education so that their future would have promise. I never thought to talk to them about violence in dating relationships. I taught them to love God, to say mam & sir, how to treat girls, how to stay safe when driving and pulled over, and respect their elders;…but I didn’t teach them about dating violence. I feel strongly that it may have saved his life, because he was a great kid , obedient and always would listen to me,….if I had added dating violence to the tools I gave him maybe he would be alive..
Early in my own journey from domestic violence someone said “Knowledge is power” let’s give our teens the knowledge and the power to stop domestic violence.
Thank you for reading my blog and God bless you. Joyce❤
Today is the first day of domestic violence awareness month. So many of you have supported me with words of kindness, wisdom and inspiration. I felt the need to use this day to try and see if its possible to create a simple blog using my phone .
I am well, I’m sometimes happy. I am no longer consumed with just fear. Though I have many many challenges I’m safe. I donated everything I owned to charity in case I was asked to leave my home. But as of yet no one has come. It’s hard to start over with nothing and all the organizations out there for survivors have been of no help to me. What’s scary is the little bit of money I was making keeping my nieces son stopped because she moved away. So I don’t know what’s going to happen but what I do know is I am and I will be okay.
Please everybody remember the importance of this month and do what you can. The simplest effort from you may provide the ability for someone to be able to have heat.
Someone mailed me the only gift I received last year at Christmas it was the book The Walking Wounded, inside of it was a $20 bill. That $20 and the money I had allowed me to go out and purchase a space heater, I’d been living in my house with no heat at all because I can’t afford to pay a heating bill I don’t create one, so I had been freezing and then out of nowhere my prayer was answered.
I’m saying all this to say you never know what small act of kindness will mean to a survivor on the verge of leaving, staying or going back. So please do what you can it may save someone’s life.
I have no way of seeing what this blog finished looks like, so please excuse any and all errors and know I created this blog out of a place of gratitude and love.
It’s important that people become aware so that the violence will end one day. Again I ask you to please take a stand against Domestic violence
and reached out for help. Shame kept me isolated and imprisoned in a world of daily abuse. But then one day I mustard up the courage and called the Domestic Violence Hotline and they listened, I was crying rambling on and on, and so ashamed. They gave me encouragement and advise. They were nonjudgmental. They just talked me through it. I called them several times just to talk about what to do and how to do it. They taught me how to set up a safety plan, how to protect myself to be safe. To go to my neighbor and set up a signal in case I was in danger and needed help. To pack an emergency escape bag and leave it with her. They really emphasized safety first. They gave me that little extra courage I did’t have on my own. I was so grateful to God that they were there. So from a new survivor Please take a stand. Help end .
& This candle could be in memory of me. But because when I picked up the phone and made that call to the domestic violence hotline and they answered, I am 10 months free and I am alive. Please take a stand against domestic violence.