Domestic Violence Awareness & Teens

http://www.ajc.com/news/crime–law/riverdale-high-school-students-dead-murder-suicide/3IiC0J2mDhq1YTj94W2mTI/

I wanted to share this story because this just really touched my heart.

I never talk about my youngest son because the wound and the grief from his death were so deep I couldn’t even bring  his name up without tears. But today I believe that I’ve made progress. In August of 2007 my son was killed. He was at college & in just 5 months he would have graduated with a dual degree. But on August 17, my husband answered the phone & it was a detective with the news my son was found in his home with one gun shot to the head by an ex girlfriend. I was devastated he was my youngest son, my baby. I later found out from his friends that my son had dated this young lady who was extremely jealous and violent. I was told he broke up with her, and with each of her failed attempts to get him back her anger turned into violent acts.. After 4 days of no response from my son to any of his group of friends one went to check on him and found him dead. My son never told me anything about the trouble he was having with her. I think he may not have known the danger he was in. I stopped beating my self up about why, & how could I have helped, could I have said something to him that would have saved his life?  I no longer beat myself up about it. I gave it all to God.*I really can’t express how I found peace,.. I just did with a whole lot of tears, prayers and crying out to God.*  I just wanted to share this because I feel that teenagers should be educated about dating violence in high school just like they teach sex education. I wanted to make sure both my sons got a college education so that their future would have promise. I never thought to talk to them about violence in dating relationships. I taught them to love God, to say mam & sir, how to treat girls, how to stay safe when driving and pulled over, and respect their elders;…but I didn’t teach them about dating violence. I feel strongly that it may have saved his life, because he was a great kid , obedient and always would listen to me,….if I had added dating violence to the tools I gave him maybe he would be alive..

Early in my own journey from domestic violence someone said “Knowledge is power” let’s give our teens the knowledge and the power to stop domestic violence.

Thank you for reading my blog and God bless you.                          Joyce❤

Dealing with domestic violence and aggression

Domestic Violence Awareness
From a Teacher to the Parents

From a teacher, to the parents

Deepak’s shocking story is an extreme case of hatred and rage perpetrated by domestic violence , aggravated by lack of communication. The loss of his loving caregiver was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Lets examine the key lessons to remember

Firstly the violence of any form, even hitting, is not an answer to any problem for correcting a child especially when an adolescent child is involved.  The best solution is always to nurture a warm relationship with your children by spending relaxing time with them like playing with them or involving in any activities like their science project, reading etc so that the barrier between the father and son is broken and he starts sharing his views and feelings.  Unfortunately in India where the men work very late they hardly have time to even to talk with their wards. In that case they should make it a point…

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DV Awareness Day #5: TRIGGERS Are Real

I wanted to reblog this post because as a survivor I have many triggers. One trigger that I had was hearing the garage door going up or down. When my husband was here I knew that when I heard that door go up that meant he was home and the terror began. So for a while every time that door moved I was triggered. But one day I shared my fear of the garage door on Twitter and Tamara Bess LMFT saw it and sent me a link to one of her post on triggers. Her act of kindness helped me tremendously and I am no longer triggered by the sound of the garage door. I replaced the feeling of fear by redirecting my thought at that very moment with a good memory, a memory and feeling from a happier event. So every time I heard that door go up I thought of the happy thought. & abra cadabra it worked. I’m no longer triggered by that door.
I’m saying all this to say even after we leave our abusers we still carry with us triggers, fears and many different challenges on the road to healing.
I ask everyone to do what you can know matter how small to help out survivors of any abuse.
I want to send a heartfelt thanks to Tamara Bess LMFT for her act of kindness that helped this survivor make a giant step toward healing.
And to SecretAngel for creating the original blog that prompted me to share a bit of my story with others.
What I’ve learned is that we are on this earth to do Gods work and when we each do what we can for someone else we are Him.
That’s one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned.
Okay, I’m out.
Please excuse all errors grammatical or any others. I’m working on that part of me too.

The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel

Image result for abuse triggers

Too many people do not understand the effects of abuse and trauma on it’s victims. The triggers that remain are very real and can be debilitating to it’s victims. (See the attached blog postings)

TRIGGERS are real…
with painful memories of the past…
with fear and panic that arise…
like the blow of a shotgun blast.
But too many don’t understand…
for they have not walked in our shoes..
so they can’t even comprehend…
cause they may never have been abused.
But those who have experienced it…
know their triggers and it’s effect…
for C-PTSD in abuse victims…
is more common than most expect.

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FEAR, PTSD, and the Abused Woman (Part 1 of Fear) (2 Tim. 1:7)

In honor of Domestic Violence awareness I wanted to share this blog because its how I’ve spent the last 18 months of surving since the abuse. Knowledge is power and for along time I didn’t even understand what it was I was experiencing. Now I do and I hope this will help anyone who needs it.
Thank you Secret Angel for expressing feelings and thoughts that I can’t by myself.
**Part of the damage to the abuse is that I sometimes can’t find the words, or I can’t clearly express what I want to say.
Thanks to all those who support survivors of any form of abuse.

The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel

ptsd1
FEAR!!
Have you ever lived with fear? Real fear! The fear that makes your heart race, your hands shake, and makes you want to run and hide. The fear where you are constantly looking over your shoulder. The fear where your eyes search across parking lots looking for certain vehicles before you stop. The fear that even a phone ringing with a certain number on caller ID will send you into a panic. Panic! That’s the name. A fear so intense that a panic response is triggered by something that most people would not even think about…Followed by uncontolled periods of crying…

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National Domestic Violence Month

Today is the first day of  domestic violence awareness month. So many of you have supported me with words of kindness, wisdom and inspiration. I felt the need to use this day to try and see if its possible to create a simple blog using my phone . 

I am well, I’m sometimes happy. I am no longer consumed with just fear. Though I have many many challenges I’m safe.  I donated everything I owned to charity in case I was asked to leave my home. But as of yet no one has come.  It’s hard to start over with nothing and all the organizations out there for survivors have been of no help to me. What’s scary is the little bit of money I was making keeping my nieces son stopped because she moved away. So I don’t know what’s going to happen but what I do know is I am and I will be okay.

Please everybody remember the importance of this month and do what you can. The simplest effort from you may provide the ability for someone to be able to have heat.

Someone mailed me the only gift I received last year at Christmas it was the book The Walking Wounded, inside of it was a $20 bill. That $20 and the money I had allowed me to go out and purchase a space heater, I’d been living in my house with no heat at all because I can’t afford to pay a heating bill I don’t create one, so I had been freezing and then out of nowhere my prayer was answered. 

I’m saying all this to say you never know what small act of kindness will mean to a survivor on the verge of leaving, staying or going back. So please do what you can it may save someone’s life.

I have no way of seeing what this blog finished looks like, so please excuse any and all errors and know I created this blog out of a place of gratitude and love.

Financial Abuse as a Tool of Destruction, Coercion, and Handicap

Picking Up the Pieces

My name is Amy, and I am a 38 year-old survivor of domestic violence.  If you were to look at me on paper at the woman I was in the years before I ever knew my abuser existed, you would unfortunately make the supposition that “someone like me” could never be abused.  Society has the destructive habit of cataloging human beings according to their race, education level, gender, income level, and social position in society, and it is no different when the conversation is raised about domestic violence.

Humans have nurtured a selfish need to always exclude themselves from the realms of those they consider to be “the others,” a group of cast-aways who are mistakenly viewed as being somehow beneath the masses so they can realize and justify an invisible buffer meant to protect or elevate them above certain situations that they believe can only affect “those who.”  This tendency to…

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Domestic Violence Awareness / Then One Day I picked up the phone,,,

Featured imageand reached out for help. Shame kept  me isolated and imprisoned in a world of daily abuse. But then one day I mustard up the courage and called the Domestic Violence Hotline and they listened, I was crying rambling on and on, and so ashamed. They gave me encouragement and advise.  They were nonjudgmental. They just talked me through it. I called them several times just to talk about what to do and how to do it. They taught me how to set up a safety plan, how to protect myself to be safe. To go to my neighbor and set up a signal in case I was in danger and needed help. To pack an emergency escape bag and leave it with her. They really emphasized safety first. They gave me that little extra courage I did’t have on my own. I was so grateful to God that they were there.   So  from a new survivor Please take a stand. Help end .